I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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