Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
