Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
