I'd wear matching sweaters with you
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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