One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
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He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
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I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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