i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
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at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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