And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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