You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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