I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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