Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
