Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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