Do you still have your period?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
