covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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