Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
