the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
