I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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