im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My hand turned me down
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
