I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize