so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
