my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
