I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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