I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
