Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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