Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
