I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I don't deserve a penis
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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