Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
