Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
