whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
