im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
