Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
