I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
how drunk are you?
Several
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
