Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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