I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
