I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
