dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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