I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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