I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
