We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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