It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
