Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
