Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
