Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
