Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
