Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
from now on my penis is your penis
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize