I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm both gender and math confused
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
