sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
