Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i out mim tonsoeep
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