I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you would pick up someone in the library
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
