Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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