please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
