I cannot find my penis.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize