i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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