It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
